Foreign Adoptions
Gregory K. Moffatt, Ph.D.
Whether a couple adopts because of inability to conceive or for some other reason, adoptive parents usually find that they love their children as if they were biologically their own and they don't even think of them as adopted. But adoption comes with several risks.
Adopting through private organizations, churches, and groups that tend to unwed mothers that can provide a child for a couple within months rather than the years it takes to adopt through the government. These agencies provide prenatal care and ensure that the mother takes care of herself and her baby during her pregnancy.
One potential problem with adoptive agencies is that the birth-mother can always change her mind. There have been a number of cases in the U.S. where a birth-mother has signed away her rights to adoptive parents, but then after the birth of the baby she has changed her mind and set in motion a very long and painful legal battle over custody of the child. Biological fathers have filed similar suits as well. Sadly, the child may live with the adoptive parents for 12-24 months, only to be wrenched away by social services agents when the court grants custody to a biological parent.
In an attempt to avoid these problems, many couples have sought adoptions in foreign countries like Romania and Russia (the number one foreign country for adoption of Caucasian babies). Foreign adoptions are expensive, costing $20,000 to $100,000, but the likelihood of having to return the child to the birth-mother is almost nonexistent.
While the vast majority of people who adopt babies from overseas have healthy babies, one disturbing problem has become evident to me in recent years. I have seen an increased number of adopted children in my practice who have a disorder called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). This emotional disturbance results when babies are seriously neglected or abused in the first few months of life. RAD children tend to dislike being held, they can be very cold, and in early childhood they become exceedingly manipulative, they lie very easily, and sometimes they deliberately harm animals and maybe even siblings, parents, or friends. The most extreme response is committing murder. RAD is one of the most serious mental health problems that affects children.
Many of these overseas orphanages are very crowed and caretakers, while they may be very caring individuals, simply do not have time to coddle and love each baby. Research has shown us that babies require lots of touch in their early months of life. When that is absent, they do not gain weight and sometimes they simply die. This is called "fetal failure to thrive" (FFT). An interesting study was done over a century ago that compared babies being cared for in a Catholic orphanage with babies being reared in a women's prison in New York.
To the surprise of the researchers, the babies in the women's prison had a remarkably lower infant mortality rate. Researchers concluded that the difference was that the women in the prison had plenty of time to love on their babies, caress them, feed them, and rock them. The well-intentioned but overworked nuns in the orphanage only had time to meet the basic needs of the children in their care. Therefore, many of their babies died from FFT.
Many of the parents who have contacted me about their adopted children said that their agencies mentioned that RAD was a possibility, but they didn't understand what that meant. During the process of adopting, parents are so full of excitement at the possibility of getting a child of their own that the passing comment about RAD simply doesn't register in their minds. Yet when the child reaches grade-school age and he/she begins to exhibit some of these terrifying symptoms, they realize the seriousness of RAD and that they have a deeply disturbed child.
If you or someone you know is planning to adopt from overseas,
please make sure they know about this possibility. Research RAD
and know that even though the chance of getting a RAD child is
slim, the parent must be prepared for the very long and expensive
process of treating this disorder. RAD isn't the end of the world,
treatment is available, and these parents still love their children
deeply. However, being fully informed can help parents as they
determine what form of adoption, with all of its inherent risks
and advantages, is best for them.