Is there anywhere you can go these days where you don't see someone on a cellular telephone? Recently, I actually heard someone talking on his cell phone in the stall of a public bathroom and he even told the caller where he was and what he was doing! Most of you who are reading this column have cell phones so be patient with me as I present something for you to think about.
The Amish don't have telephones in their homes. Some of them have a telephone in a small booth (with no seat) in their yard, but not in the house. This may seem hypocritical, but I assure you that much thought went into the decision as to what role telephones would play in their culture. The Amish are not opposed to telephones, but as a community they long ago decided that the telephone is a tool to be used carefully and that thoughtless use of the telephone is dangerous to individuals, families, and community. They use the telephone only when absolutely necessary.
I suspect that our culture has proven the Amish to be correct. How many of the telephone conversations while people are driving, shopping, or sitting in a theater are really necessary? Instead of interacting with family or thinking about the people around us, we are on the telephone.
We have a few rules in our house about the telephone, some of which I have adopted from the Amish. My children do not have telephones in their rooms. If they need to talk on the phone, they can use one in the hallway. Lying around on a bed gossiping about the boys at school is unproductive. My children have a time limit on the phone. Ten minutes is plenty of time to do whatever business might need to be done with the rare exception of a school project that might require more time.
Rules don't apply only to my children. I am careful with the telephone as well. I do not talk on the telephone after 8 p.m. or during a meal because those are family times. If someone needs me the caller can leave a message. I don't talk to telemarketers. I politely say I'm not interested and hang up. If I have a visitor at home, I may not answer the phone. I do not put a guest in second place. Isn't it irritating when you are at a business being waited on and the clerk takes a call? It is as if the customer on the telephone butts directly to the head of the line. I don't want to do that to my guests.
Cellular telephones have only exacerbated how the telephone can erode family and community. They distract us while we are driving. Because we are always reachable, cell phones make our lives busier, not easier, when most of us actually need some quiet time with friends, family, or time alone. Ironically, even though cellular phones make communication easier, they isolate us from those in our immediate vicinity. People walk through airports and down the sidewalk completely oblivious to those around them because they are so wrapped up in their conversations. Cell phone users alienate those around them by discussing personal business in public places. Who wants to overhear someone else's personal conversation? Finally, cellular phones have pushed our culture further down the continuum toward individualism rather than bringing us together as a community.
Because they are cheap, accessible, and they can make communication easier, we have failed to ask whether or not this convenience is good for us. Even though I know some people need cellular telephones because of their business, the majority of us don't "need" them; we "want" them.
My life is as busy as anyone's. Taking children to and from school and activities, my work, personal business, my clients all are reasons why I might want a cellular phone or reasons why I might violate my own rules with the telephone at home. Still, I think the Amish are on the right track in their approach to the telephone. I function very well without a cell phone and our telephone rules at home work well. Your choice about how you use the telephone or cellular phone is your business. I encourage you to at least consider how the telephone can negatively affect your family as you make your decisions.
