A big part of my professional work involves homicide investigation and prevention. I've spent much of the past five years studying homicide, lecturing on the subject at the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia, and addressing schools and businesses on homicide prevention and risk assessment. It may seem an odd combination, therapy with children and homicide risk assessment, but the two areas are more closely related than you might think.
The shooting at Columbine High School, and now closer to home in Conyers, are only two incidents of the hundreds of shootings and violent acts that take place every day. The thing that makes these shootings most troubling is that they occur in a place that we assume to be safe. Most of the school shootings I have studied (not involving drugs or other crimes) have happened in quiet suburban communities where people believe they are safe from the violence of the inner city and other places we perceive to be more dangerous.
I met with State Superintendent Linda Schrenko on Tuesday, May 18. The purpose of our meeting was to look into ways of preventing shootings like the one in Colorado from happening here. I assured her this type of incident would happen again. Only two days later a student opened fire in a Conyers High School.
What can we do? There are several things I suggest to parents to help keep their children safe. First, make sure your children know that any threat made by another student, no matter how unlikely it may seem, should be taken seriously. In Michigan just this past week, four students were arrested for conspiring to kill "more kids than in Colorado." The plot was uncovered when a student told an adult of the plan. Would these children have followed through with their plan? Who knows, but the risk is too great to take chances. Threats to shoot, stab, blow-up, or harm self or others are always worthy of attention. This may seem self-evident to you, but in many cases where school shootings have occurred, others knew of the plan, but didn't believe it would happen.
Second, supervise your children. The boys in Colorado left incriminating evidence of their plans in plain view in their rooms. Not only that, they spent hours preparing the pipe bombs that they later carried to the school. One might ask how these boys could have made such extensive preparations without any suspicions being raised by the parents of either child. It is too early in the analysis of the Colorado incident to say, but I suspect that supervision was a problem with these boys.
The rooms that your children occupy in your home are not their rooms. They belong to you and you allow these children to use them. Parents can go overboard respecting the privacy of our children to the point that we don't supervise them appropriately. We must walk a fine line between disrespect for "their space" and poor leadership.
Third, recognize warning signs. Suicide attempts or ideation, fascination with death, weapons, and violence as well as cruelty to animals or people are bad signs. These behaviors are not normal and should always be considered worthy of attention by parents. Don't believe it when you hear people say that there was no indication that a person would do something like this. I've looked into nearly three hundred homicides and there are always warning signs.
Finally, stay involved with your children. Desperate people commit desperate acts. When children see a future, have hope, and know they do not stand alone in this sometimes frightening world, they are less likely to pursue acts of desperation and more likely to believe they can endure current struggles. Family unity and involvement fosters a realistic perspective on life and can help one endure a frightening world.
I propose we adults are reaping the fruits of years of neglect of our children, lack of attention to them, irresponsibility in how we treat them, and cultivation of a violent culture. However, we don't have to throw our hands up in despair. As I told our school superintendent, the starting place for change is at home.
