I have always avoided formal discussions of religious issues in this column and leave those issues for the columnists in the religion section. I have my own religious beliefs, but the purpose of my column is family and children's issues. Yet there are religious issues that pertain to a child's development that I want to address in this week's column. My purpose is not to suppose that psychological and sociological issues are the only goals of religious involvement. Every faith has its own views of spirituality, sin, afterlife, judgment, and so forth, but my purpose here is to address the psychological and social benefits of a religious upbringing.
First of all, involvement in a religious body provides social interaction for children of all ages. For preschool aged children, the church or synagogue may be the only place they interact with other children of the same age. They learn to develop friendships, share toys, and interact in a group setting. If the child is not in day care or preschool, this interaction helps to prepare them socially for their school years. With older children and teens, parents can have a high level of confidence that their children are engaging in productive and safe behaviors when they are with their youth group or other church groups. Church camp, social activities, and missions trips are organized to allow these children to interact in an environment that is clean, safe, and productive physically, spiritually, and psychologically.
Religious involvement provides safe environment for socialization. Whether they are on an outing at an amusement park or serving on some missions project, the child is with a responsible adult who is concerned about the child's well being both physically and spiritually. Of course, we have all heard stories of youth ministers and priests who have molested children, but such incidents are relatively rare and certainly not any more frequent than other professionals who work with children such as coaches and teachers.
Religious involvement teaches morality. I doubt that there are any two people on the planet that have perfectly identical views on morality, but what is common among religious teachings is that most religions encourage productive behaviors and discourage unproductive ones. Problematic or risky behaviors like drinking, sexual promiscuity, and dishonesty are less likely among children who grow up in religious homes than in those where no religious teachings are encouraged. Teens who are active in their churches are less likely to steal, lie, become pregnant or to use illegal substances than teens who are not active in any church.
Finally, religious involvement teaches altruism. Altruism is selfless investment in the needs of others. People are naturally selfish and egocentric. We start life believing that everything about the world exists for our benefit. Some people never recover from this infantile handicap. Selfishness, in fact, is at the root of most interpersonal problems at home, school, and work. Most religions teach that there is something greater than oneself and that giving of self is an important part of maturation. This benefit is long lasting. Religious individuals are more likely to be satisfied with their jobs, friendships, and family, their marriages last longer, and they report greater satisfaction with their partners than do people who are uninvolved with any religion.
If you have children and are uninvolved with any religion, but are considering religious involvement, I suggest you look for a religious body that has an active youth program. Children tend to maintain their religious teachings into their adult years, even if they slip away during late adolescence or early adulthood. Children who are not raised in any religious body are unlikely to pursue religion in their adult years. Therefore, a church or synagogue that invests in its youth is planning for its own future as well as the future of the children they are shepherding.
