The summer is nearly over and, by the time this goes to print, your children will be back in school. I love the summer months when we can all be together at home, but it is always a little refreshing when the kids climb on the bus and head back to school.
I believe the most important job for kindergarten and first grade teachers is to teach children to love learning. If children believe that school is a fun and worthwhile place, they will want to learn. However, problems will inevitably arise. Sometimes problems involve academics. Kids don't want to do their homework or are performing below their ability. However, sometimes problems are behavioral. It is difficult for parents to admit their children misbehave and we may be quick to place blame on the teacher. I know of some horrible teachers who have done some horrible things to students, but for the most part, teachers are very hard working and have a "calling" to teach. They do what they do because they love kids. They don't need to create problems for themselves.
So what do you do if your child is in trouble at school? First of all, the alliance between teacher and parent is important. The teacher is an extension of the parent and you all need to work as a team. Children will quickly catch on if you aren't working together and they will use that to their advantage. Support the teacher and his/her system as much as possible even if you don't like it. They are professionals and have reasons for the systems they have in place.
Second, don't be afraid to communicate with the teacher. If you are upset or confused about something that is going on at school, call the teacher and check it out. If the teacher's intentions are good, he or she will be happy to clarify issues and let you know what is going on. Don't start with the principal. It only increases the tension between you and the teacher.
Third, do your best to be objective. It is rare that I talk with a parent whose child is "at fault." They are quick to lay blame at the feet of others. When our children act up, it is a poor reflection on us and we don't like it. We like to think our kids are perfect. We can point out their weaknesses, but we don't want others to do so. We have to understand that discipline is a valuable part of development and if we make excuses for our children, we are cheating them of a skill they need to function as healthy adults. It is also possible that your child's behavior problems may be the result of undiagnosed medical conditions (hyperactivity, diabetes, and even poor hearing or poor vision). Rationally discussing possibilities with your teacher may help your child improve.
Fourth, if talking with the teacher doesn't satisfy your frustrations, talk to the principal. I have known teachers who called their students "dummies," who picked on students they didn't like, and who did not need to be in the classroom. I support teachers wholeheartedly, but this kind of behavior is unacceptable. Teachers engaging in this sort of behavior need to either get it together or find a new career. I expect the principal to do something about poor conduct by a teacher and I will follow up to see that something has been done.
I encourage you to get to know your child's teacher. Go to open houses and take every advantage to get to know the teacher. I have lunch with my daughters every week and try to take a few minutes to visit with their teachers while I'm there. If you are friends, it will make it easier to discuss issues as they arise with your child.
